Looking For A Man Who’s A Little More Country Than That

      As I dive back into the dating game I have started to evaluate what I am looking for in a man. In large part because I am preparing my profile on Match.com and I want to attract the right type of man without seeming overly picky. I can enumerate the qualities I would like to avoid, a sort of been there done that list, but that would probably make guys think I am witchy. Though really is it so much to ask of a guy that he: not be commitment phobic, be able to go to restaurants and other places without too much anxiety, not belittle himself or other people, not take issue with the fact that I might have more education than him, have some common sense, isn’t looking for an instant family and dating me just because I have a child, and regularly pays his bills. Call me crazy but I don’t think this list is going to attract too many guys for me.

      So I have decided to try and write it in a more positive light…I am hoping for a little (read a lot) of help from my friends in this task. When I think about what I want in a man the song “A Little More Country Than That” by Easton Corbin, it describes a man who would be more comfortable with small town life than big city life. He is honest, loyal, and doesn’t play around with a woman’s feelings. He is in it for the commitment and when he makes that commitment he intends to keep it. Sure there are other things I want in man but these are the most basic things put in the most positive light. I still have to write my Match.com profile and will take all the advice I can get.


A Little More Country Than That
By Easton Corbin

Imagine a dirt road full of pot holes
With a creek bank and some cane poles
Catching channel cat
I’m a little more country than that

Picture a small town with an old hound
Laying out front of the court house
While the old men chew the fat
I’m a little more country than that

I just want to make sure you know just who you’re getting under this old hat
Cause girl I’m not the kind to two time or play games behind your back
I’m a little more country than that

Think of a hank song from days gone
With a steel ride that’s so strong
It sends chills up your back
I’m a little more country than that

If you want a brick home in a school zone
With the doors locked and alarms on
Girl, you’re way off track
I’m a little more country than that

I just want to make sure you know just who you’re getting under this old hat
Cause girl I’m not the kind to two time or play games behind your back
I’m a little more country than that
Yeah, I’m sure that you’ve heard those three words from Others
But they fell flat
But this ring ain’t something that I mean to give you
And then take back
I’m a little more country than that
I’m a little more country than that
I’m a little more country than that

Why I Am Going To My High School Reunion.

I recently received an invitation (Facebook invite) for my 15 year class reunion which has led to some interesting conversations with friends I graduated with about reasons to go or not go. As this is my blog I will only discuss my own opinions and reservations about the matter. I am sure people many people will be able to identify with what I am saying. Reunions bring up all sorts of issues; I wasn’t popular in high school. I was one of the ones that got made fun of all the time, looking back I can kind of understand why, it wasn’t hard to get a rise out of me. And I wasn’t from the area; I started school halfway through freshman year. After a while I didn’t even bother to try getting along with others or getting them to like me I was bitchy, it was a defense mechanism after all it’s easier to accept they don’t like you if you know (or think you know) why they don’t like you. By the end of high school I didn’t bother to let anyone get close enough to really get to know me or become friends. For me high school was hell and I was happy when it was over, I couldn't put enough distance between myself and that place.

Yet when the "invite"(more word of mouth) for my 10 year class reunion came I wasn’t hesitant to go, like I am now. I guess because I felt my life was in a better place, I could show them they were wrong about me. I could show them I wasn't the person they thought I was, though looking back now I am not really sure what they thought about me. Anyway five years ago I was about 50lbs lighter than I am now, which was thinner than I was in high school. This is perhaps my biggest issue, I hate how heavy I am and how I look right now.

Five years ago I was starting Law School and had a successful marriage minded boyfriend. What I didn’t know is that about a month after the reunion that my seemingly marriage minded boyfriend would announce the weekend before I started Law School that he got a promotion in another state, was moving, breaking up with me, and in spite of everything he had told me was never sure how he felt about me. Needless to say this did not make for a successful start to school, add to it learning disabilities and not having the proper documentation for testing accommodations and long story short my first year didn’t go so well. It ended even messier but that is a tale to be told another day. I ended up giving Law School a second try and I am now a 3L, which means I am a student without a job or a career. Sure I have the potential for a career but that doesn’t feel like much of an accomplishment.

In the years between my first go round with Law School and my second I became a single mother. My daughter is my pride and joy but still I feel a certain lacking for my lack of a relationship or marriage. I rarely even date, I could blame it on being a single mother and a full time student but the truth is that as of late I haven’t even tried. I have made a couple of questionable choices when it comes to men in the past and I not sure I trust myself in that arena anymore.

None of this makes for good what have you been up to conversation and so I am hesitant to go to the reunion. But I am going because it’s not about showing anyone they were wrong about me. Or showing who great and wonderful my life has turned out…even if it has turned out pretty great. As I grown older and talked to more of the people I went to school with I have realized that high school wasn’t a picnic for most of them either. Everyone had their own set of problems. So I will go and enjoy the day with a few friends and what is essentially a bunch of strangers and maybe I will make a few new friends. It will be another exercise in letting go of past hurt and the self-destructive methods of self-preservation I developed. 15 years after high school I have learned that I need to make an effort and let people in, if I am to set a healthy example for my child and a healthy pattern for my life.