I will learn not to let it bother me

     So I recently found out that my ex has a blog and curiosity got the better of me...I read some of his postings. It didn't take long for me to realize that this was a bad idea. You see when we broke up he de-friended me and proceeded to trash/make fun of me on Facebook. He also called me a name (rhyme's with witch) on a posting that another friend was linked on. He accused me of doing the same but I never did. I try not to say things about people or make fun of them, I have had to much experience being on the receiving end of that sort of behavior. Apparently time has not made him rethink this tactic. At Christmas time he sent me a nice message wishing me and my family a Merry Christmas, unfortunately it was right before my hardest final, I was already on edge and it just sent me over. I told him that I wasn't ready to extend the olive branch, acknowledged his message was nice but that the timing was not good for me. Then wished him and his family a Merry Christmas. Another time  I received a piece of mail for him and wrote to ask the forwarding address. I also took the opportunity to tell him I mentioned him in my blog and invited him to provide input if he found it out of line. So imagine my surprise when I read this:

     This morning, there was a message in my inbox from my most recent ex. She had blogged about a fight we had months ago, and her struggle with compromise. It was not vitriolic, it didn't set me off or even upset me. What DID upset me was that the last time I had reached out to this particular ex, a short note to wish her and her family a merry Christmas, I was harshly rebuffed for adding undue stress to her while she was preparing for finals. I shrugged, muttered something about a horse she rode in on, and went on with my life.

     It really makes it seem like I contacted him just to tell him about the blog and that I was rude in my response to him at Christmas time. Which I don't think I was, I took great pains not to be. Also he completely missed the point of the blog I wrote which was about communication difficulties not a struggle with compromise. So my question is why does it bother me? Why should I care what he makes me out to be? Or whether he calls me names and makes fun of me? Why do I still care? I can't answer these questions, maybe I am overly sensitive from years of being made fun of and being picked on growing up. Whatever the answer is doesn't matter, what matters is that I am determined to stop letting it bother me.

[I will not provide a link to his blog or his name. This is not about trashing him. It is about a life lesson I need to learn.]

UPDATE: Because it was bothering me, I was up at 2:30am, and I just couldn't leave it alone...

ME: Given that every other comment has been removed [there were 9 other comments all removed, 4 of which were by him] I expect this one to be as well. But I thought I would set the record straight.

1. I wrote you the note because I received mail for you at my house. I took the opportunity to tell you about the blog and invite you to provide feedback if you felt I was unjust to you.

2. The blog was about communication problems not my struggle with compromise...something you seemed to understand in your private response to me.

3. I acknowledged your message at Christmas time was nice but that the timing was not good for me. That I was not ready. I also wished you and your family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. It came just before what was probably the hardest exam I have had yet in Law School. An exam that would decide my grade in the class, I was stressed. [Given all that was said and done between us, I think I had the right to not be ready to act like it was nothing.]

HIM: The other comments have been removed by the authors of the comments, not the author of the blog.

1. True, and I wasn't offended at all. You weren't unjust to me in any way shape, or form.

2. True, I misspoke.

3. Fair enough.

The only reason any of it was mentioned here at all is that it got me into the conversation that led to this post. I didn't mean to misrepresent things or shed a bad light on you.


ME: Okay...not even going to ask how our relationship has anything to do with the battle of the sexes. Like I said just wanted to set the record straight. 


Personally I feel like, even if it was simply a matter of being careless in relating the details it is still a bit hurtful because I take great pains to insure I am providing a fair and accurate picture.